Affirmations

We humans processes an amazing ability to convince our self of something weather it is true or not. Many times we build our beliefs on what others say around us or through the media (books, TV, Radio etc). We also give more weight to information from people we trust and believe in. Repeat this enough times and we begin to believe firmly that what we have heard is true and will even stand up to anyone who questions. We go on to pass this information to others.

I see affirmations as a form of self-hypnosis where we convince our self of something that may or may not be true. But it does play an important part in how we improve our self so let’s see how we can use this to our advantage.

1. Start by creating a vision  and make it as vivid as possible no matter how impossible it may seem now.

2. Describe and draw your vision on paper. Revise the vision to emphasize on the positive aspects.

3. Now create a video recording of you speaking your text in a calm assertive voice with soft soothing music in the background. Combine it with video recording of something as close as possible to your dream. You could also write on paper or create an audio recording. I choose video because it can be used to simulate multiple senses.

4. Now every day select a quiet comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Wear comfortable clothes, darken the lights or burn a couple of scented candles. Do some relaxation exercises. One simple exercise I use is to lay back in a comfortable chair close my eyes and visualize all the stress and worries melting away from my body.

5. Now start the video and visualize living that dream. Do this enough times that you feel good within yourself.

One way to take this further is to share your vision with your family, friends (and perhaps others who might have a similar vision). Ask them for ideas and their positive views.

Every time you feel low or feel an urge to go back to old habits or addictions, bring up the image of your dream. It even helps to put the affirmations where you will see or hear it constantly e.g. a note attached to the fridge or the computer monitor.

Now affirmations by themselves will not make things happen but they will guide you to your goals. Once you start believing that the vision is possible, it is time to put together an action plan to reach that vision. If any of the actions are stressful, you can perform visualization exercises where you see yourself doing those actions with ease and then go on to simulations and then to performing the actual action.

Let’s take an example and see how we can put this into practice.

A teenager has just gotten her driving learner’s permit. As any driver knows, the amount of information that we need to process when we started driving can be overwhelming: adjusting the seat and all the mirrors, putting on the seat belt, switching on the lights, starting the car, disengaging the parking brakes, signalling, watching oncoming traffic and driving etc. As an experienced driver, we do many of these things seamlessly but to a beginner it can be a very stressful experience. To address this, we could

1. See our self doing all the activities of driving effortlessly. This would include changing lanes or turning, following traffic signals, stopping, parking etc.

2. We can use a video recording of an experienced driver doing all the activities

3. We could have a audio recording guide us e.g. “I am coming up to a traffic signal. I need to be more alert and get ready to slow down or stop”

4. Visualize yourself in the various activities in a wide variety of scenarios e.g. bright sun, winding roads, rain, snow, steep roads, city traffic etc. Also add negative scenarios like getting into an accident with another vehicle, driving off the road, traffic jams, feeling sleepy, and distractions like the radio or other passengers talking in the car, getting pulled over by the police etc. See yourself handling all of these calmly. If you panic, keep repeating the exercise till you are calm and comfortable.

5. Once comfortable, you can take it further by using a driving simulator where you can practice doing something without getting hurt e.g. making a left turn into a multi-lane road

6. Only when you feel comfortable with the visualizations and the simulations should you consider driving a car in the real world

7. Also start slow and practice all the activities in a real car in a safe environment e.g. practice parallel parking in an unused parking lot

8. Then move onto a light traffic parking lot or street and so on

The key here is to plan, prepare, visualize, practice and only then execute. This applies to pretty much every thing in life. The biggest caveat of this technique is that it could take longer but the results are usually worth the wait.

Frugal Living

My definition of frugal living is “A simple lifestyle of living comfortably within our means”. Here are some examples:

1. Right-size everything tangible. e.g. living in a rental 2 bedroom apartment instead of 3 or 4 bedroom single family house. Most people look at houses as an asset or an investment but in reality they are a liability. They need constant maintenance, property taxes, insurance, mortgage, higher energy bills etc and they can take a long time to sell restricting you to a limited work area. Now some will argue that their house price has doubled in the last 10 years but how much did you spend on the house and how much would you really make after real estate commissions, sales taxes, closing costs and income tax (if you made a gain). Others argue that they never plan on moving but statistics shows that on average people stay in their houses for only 6 years.

2. Buying only the essential items rather than everything we want. An example is buying a smaller TV and using broadcast channels instead of a large flat-panel with home theater system and cable/dish service. Add to that a DVD player, buying/renting DVDs, PPV, extended warranty, repair costs, requires more space (maybe even a dedicated media room), electricity and most of all the time wasted in front of the TV instead of spending it on more important things. I do not say that you should not buy anything but always plan ahead on the actual costs instead of buying on impulse. A simple strategy is to create a budget e.g. buy a small TV for $300 in one year and you plan to save $25 each month. You might end up finding a better TV and you might even decide to skip buying that TV all together.

3. Saving at least 25% to 50% of the net income (ie. after uncle Sam has taken his cut) each month. If you can save $750 (25% of your $3000 monthly income) each month then in 2 years you would have saved $18,000. Now if your monthly expenses are $2,000 then even if you lose a job you can afford to live the same lifestyle for 9 months. Of course, you can add in unemployment insurance, cutting back expenses, having a less paying job etc. You can see how it can help you make better career decisions and not have to worry about getting laid off from work.

4. Eliminate your debt. This is not as hard as it seems as most lenders are willing to negotiate a loan (especially a non-secured loan like a credit card). You can also consolidate multiple loans into one or two low interest loans. Sometimes family members can help by cosigning, getting an advance at work or even file for bankruptcy. One thing to be careful here is that you do not convert a non-secured loan into a secured loan (e.g. refinancing the house to pay the credit cards) unless that is your only option. Bottom-line is it is good to have a credit line but use it wisely and keep it reserved for the rainy day.

5. De-clutter your life. Identify all the items that you have in your possession and ask if you really need any of them. One simple rule is to get rid (sell, donate or trash) of anything you haven’t used in a year, or is broken, no longer interested in etc. Then look at items that have gotchas attached to them e.g. having a dog means walking, feeding, bathing, taking to vet, licensing, medicating, insurance, cutting nails, possibly dealing with aggression/biting, making arrangements when traveling or away from home for longer than 8 hours etc. Multiply that by the 10 to 15 years the dog will live. I am not condoning getting rid of your pet but think twice before getting one and if it is really the right choice for your lifestyle.

6. Share/borrow instead of buying. Buy used instead of new. This will not only save you money, it will reduce amount of space needed, be less taxing on the environment and you will get to form tighter bonds with your family and friends. After all necessity/dependency is one of the key factors in keeping relationships going.

The lesson is “The more you simplify your life, the less worries you will have and the more peaceful and content your life will be”.

Time

What is time? Is it a constant or does it vary? For someone suffering, time seems to pass slowly but to someone busy, time flies. Time stretches and expands differently for everyone and that movement can be almost chaotic in nature but the clock continues to tick at the same rate.

We all have a finite amount of time that we like to call our life. The choices we make affect the outcome of how we perceive time. Not considering the chance of an accident, our current lifespan may be 70 years roughly divided into the following categories.

sleep 1/3 of the time
work or study 1/3 of the time (slightly higher if commuting but lower if you exclude weekends)
Basic chores like brushing, toilet, bathing, eating (and perhaps cooking) take up 1/6 of the time
If you married and/or parent, then you also need to attend to your spouse and children
As a child or youth, we do not perceive death. As a young man we are looking to start a family, as a middle aged man we look after our children, when old we tend to our health.

What we are left with is way less than 1/10 of our time to do as we choose. Realize that your time is finite and precious and choose wisely what you do with the little time you have.

Survival of the fittest

I am a big fan of survival type series like Man Vs Wild, SurvivorMan, I shouldn’t be alive and many more where the content is geared more for education rather than entertainment like the survivor TV show. Outside of luck, in most cases the key to survival is a strong will to prevail against all odds. Add to that some basic knowledge of survival strategies and your odds increase exponentially. Now I will not go into all the details of survival strategies out there but some of the key ones to remember are

1. Do not panic. I realize this is easier said than done but a panicky mind cannot think clearly and is prone to making mistakes which you cannot afford.

2. If you need medical attention tend to it first.

3. Come up with a realistic plan based on your scenario. Rescue may take longer than you anticipate so plan for that. This is also the time to think of what is important to you in life and which will help keep up your spirits.

4. Find or build a shelter from the elements. This could be for shade, rain cover, wind blocker, warmth, protection etc.

5. Find drinking water or figure out a way to capture moisture. Dehydration can be a killer.

6. Build a fire. This will help boil the water, cook meat and keep wild animals away, signal, provide warmth, and comfort on a dark night. Learn at least a couple of ways to start a fire.

7. Find food. A person can last for several days without food but eating food even in small quantities is essential. This could be from insects, small animals, plants, fruits, fish etc. but you cannot be picky of the taste and have to know what is edible.

Perception and Judgement of others

We are what we believe and our thoughts are molded by our experiences. Basically what we see in most cases is perception rather than the underlying truth. We as a crowd are also easily swayed by the latest trend and sometimes in unpredictable ways.

When we see someone for the first time, do we really know that person? For that matter, do we really know the individual after spending 20+ years with them. When we interview a person for a job, do we focus strictly on the capabilities or do we make our impression about them based on their looks, they way they talk and/or interact with others. I admit that some of these are important but each person has a different perception so how fair are we when we make a decision?

Same goes for when a jury is supposed to look at some evidence and make a decision sometimes about the fate of the individual under trail. How much of evidence is enough? How much role does the intelligence, looks, style, charm and cunning of the lawyers play in the decision? What about all those cases that are being proved wrong by new evidence or using DNA? How would your life be affected with the new evidence if you were a juror in a case where an innocent person was convicted or even executed?

Some decisions seem easy but if the butterfly effect is true then which decision is more important? Is the greater good of all more important than the basic needs of a few? Where do we draw the line?

I want you to question your beliefs many of which have been imprinted in us from an early age. How much of that is true and how much is just plain superstition? I want you to listen to another person before making any judgements about them. Who are we anyway to really judge others?

Writing an autobiography

I was thinking the other day about how much of our time we spend in learning. What if we could simply upload that information into our brains (something like Trinity learning to fly a helicopter in the Matrix movie) or like Johnny Mnemonic (plug in a hard disk), or real-time access to a network of libraries (like the Borg collective except each of us has an independent identity). Can you imagine the possibilities and how much less time we might have to spend learning basic stuff. As with any technology, there are the good and bad sides but we have to think positive and the possibilities that may lift humans to our next evolution phase.

Sadly the above is still fiction and though science promises to bring us closer each day, its a long way to go.  For now, the best we can do to capture our identity is to maintain an archive of our thoughts and beliefs, a diary about the things in our daily life and possibly have someone else write an independent summary of our lives. Starting a blog and writing a diary are the easy parts but getting someone else to write your own summary without influencing them might be difficult (especially if that person is being compensated by you).

Its fascinating when I read the letters from over 100 years back or look at photographs and portraits of people long gone. What must have been their life like? What if they had all the facilities we have today? … the list of questions goes on ..

So go ahead and share your thoughts with the world. Who know how we may influence the generations to come.

Using less resources

With the ever increasing population comes a demand for more resources and a strain on the infrastructure. Using less resources without having to compromise the quality of life we are accustomed to may help stretch those resources longer and possibly make it more economical for others. Let’s take some few examples of what we can do:

1. Go to bed early and rise early. This will help reduce the amount of electricity we use for lighting our houses and we might even get some health benefits out of it.

2. Use a shower (with a low-flow shower head) instead of a tub and use the clock to keep the bath to within 10 minutes. Better yet, use a bucket to take the bath. The advantage is that we use up considerably less water.

3. Tasks like laundry, ironing, cooking vegetables etc. can be completed in large batches e.g. for the week. This will cut down on the amount of energy used doing the tasks in small batches and also save us time.

4. Carpool or use public transportation to work if available. Better yet, work one or more days a week from home. Some companies will even allow you to work four 10 hour days instead of five 8 hour days. The benefit might be that you also get to spend more time with family or doing things you really want to do. Walk/Bike/skate to the local store instead of using the car.

5. Keep printing anything to a minimum, avoid writing and mailing letters, documents & bills. Also whenever possible opt out of the mailings, newspapers, samples etc. Many of these same tasks can now be done on a computer and using the Internet. This will help save some trees.

6. Recycle everything you can. Separating paper, metal, glass, plastic etc. is just the first step. Think of things like composting, reusing the back side of blank papers, donating books to local libraries and schools, selling on sites like eBay and craiglist or even giving to charities.

7. Collecting rain water for use in gardens and lawns. Using timers to water the lawns and sensors to avoid watering on days when not needed. Better yet, convert some of the lawn area to hardscapes and use hardy grass types to minimize the need for watering or fertilizing.

8. Switch off electrical appliances when not in use. Use sensors where safety is a concern e.g. lighting the garage or driveway at night.

9. Watch a little less TV, or surf a little less on the Internet, talk a little less on the phone. Instead look to spending quality time with family and friends.

10. Share with others. e.g. tools, books, pool, toys, lawn movers etc.

11. Educate and encourage others.

Some things that you can do but at a cost:

1. Use free & renewable alternate energy sources like solar electricity, solar water heating, wind turbines. Initial cost is still a major factor when trying to implement these technologies but they usually pay for themselves over the long run. Also the federal and state governments have incentives and several sites are dedicated to providing expert advice on solutions available and even installation instructions.

2. Invest in the local infrastructure. Look to invest some of your savings in local municipal bonds that help improve the local infrastructure. They are usually safer and might even save you some money in taxes.

3. Plant trees. Look for barren public lands and ask your township if you can plant trees there.

 

There is so much each of us can do without having to compromise on the quality of our life.

Sherlock Holmes – a fine tribute to logical deduction

I have always been a big fan of detective work where logic and deduction plays a large part in solving the case.

My favorite is the fictitious character Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The best parts are when looking at simple objects like a hat, coat, pipe etc he is able to amazingly deduce quite a bit of information about the person(s) it belongs to. Also to him the satisfaction derived from solving the case is more important than any monetary gains.

The next favorite I have is another fictitious character Monk on USA Networks. Some of the cases he solves are just mind boggling. One of my favorite is the chess grandmaster who seems to always be one step in front of everyone including Monk.

Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Columbo, Matlock .. the list goes on but they all have the same things. Usually the clues are right in front of us and it is a matter of thinking out of the box and logical deduction that gets you to solve the case. What it also makes you wonder is the brilliance of the human minds out there.

Taboo on National Geographic Channel

I recently watched a few reruns of the show Taboo on National Geographic Channel. It is pretty graphic and not for the faint of heart as it presents extreme cases from several cultures around the globe. Such a show would probably not have aired just a few decades back.

What I like about the show is that it brings out the skeptic in me .. it challenges my values and beliefs .. it makes me question things I take for granted. As babies and children we are born a blank slate and many of the things we know or do are imprinted on us by the environment and people we know.

I believe it is important to constantly question things even those we take for granted. Just like we have to make sure the foundation of a bridge over a river continues to be robust, we need to check our foundation occasionally to make sure that it is not flawed.

Fight Science

I recently caught an episode of “Fight Science” on the National Geographic channel and was awestruck by some of the techniques deployed out there for sport and performance. This particular episode was about the military special forces from around the world. Each of the three subjects were subjected to extreme conditions that would be close to fatal for an average Joe and their ability did not diminish and in some cases actually improved a little bit. How is this possible?

Being healthy and exceptionally built are one part of the answer but the main reason is sheer will power and determination combined with years of extensive training that pushes them to their mental and physical limits. Only then are they able to make split second moves without doubting their abilities.

I had a poster in my office room for a long time that said “Success is like a stream cutting through the ragged rocks”. In time, the rocks smoothen and bend to the will of the stream. In every aspect of our life, we need to keep pushing ourself a little bit outside our comfort zone. Only then will new opportunities present themselves. The willingness to take risk is often rewarded.

Some examples from real life:

1. Do you want to exercise regularly? Does your body reject the idea and the mind finds excuses to avoid the initial uncomfortable feeling? Then get off your butt, and take the first step. Start with a 5 minute workout and add a minute every few workout till you reach you target. If the target is 30 minutes on the treadmill, then it could take a month or so to achieve but you will get there. The satisfaction of achievement in itself is an adrenaline rush.

2. Do you want to take those extra courses to further your career? What is stopping you? If it is the thought of working weeknights or spending long hours on the weekends away from the family then just do it. Talk to your family that you want to take these courses but it will take your time away from them for a few weeks(months or years), and chances are you will get support from them. Take the first step by enrolling in the course.

3. Have you been dating a person for some time now and are ready to make a commitment but just delaying it? Talk to the other person about their thoughts on a commitment from you. This will either free you from the current dilemma or send you on a honeymoon. Either way, you will feel proud of yourself for doing this.

4. You have taken the first step of making a to-do list but are overwhelmed by the number of tasks? Take the most important task, start working on it now. Chances are you will have covered up a lot of ground within a short time. Keep at it and soon that list will start shrinking. Sit on the list and it will only get bigger and many times those small pesky tasks end up being bigger problems.

5. You feel your skills are not being appreciated in your current job? Talk to your manager and ask how your skills can be used in the organization. Ask how you would be compensated for taking on the additional work. Without you speaking up, it is very unlikely your manager will know of your skills and growth requirements. If your manager doesn’t appreciate your skills, ask what is lacking and what can be done about it. If you end up with a jerk as a manager it might even be time to look for another job within that organization or elsewhere.

The lesson to take away is “The best time is now” and “You need to constantly push yourself slightly out of your comfort zone in all aspects of life”.

Related Links: http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/fightscience/