Affirmations

We humans processes an amazing ability to convince our self of something weather it is true or not. Many times we build our beliefs on what others say around us or through the media (books, TV, Radio etc). We also give more weight to information from people we trust and believe in. Repeat this enough times and we begin to believe firmly that what we have heard is true and will even stand up to anyone who questions. We go on to pass this information to others.

I see affirmations as a form of self-hypnosis where we convince our self of something that may or may not be true. But it does play an important part in how we improve our self so let’s see how we can use this to our advantage.

1. Start by creating a vision  and make it as vivid as possible no matter how impossible it may seem now.

2. Describe and draw your vision on paper. Revise the vision to emphasize on the positive aspects.

3. Now create a video recording of you speaking your text in a calm assertive voice with soft soothing music in the background. Combine it with video recording of something as close as possible to your dream. You could also write on paper or create an audio recording. I choose video because it can be used to simulate multiple senses.

4. Now every day select a quiet comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Wear comfortable clothes, darken the lights or burn a couple of scented candles. Do some relaxation exercises. One simple exercise I use is to lay back in a comfortable chair close my eyes and visualize all the stress and worries melting away from my body.

5. Now start the video and visualize living that dream. Do this enough times that you feel good within yourself.

One way to take this further is to share your vision with your family, friends (and perhaps others who might have a similar vision). Ask them for ideas and their positive views.

Every time you feel low or feel an urge to go back to old habits or addictions, bring up the image of your dream. It even helps to put the affirmations where you will see or hear it constantly e.g. a note attached to the fridge or the computer monitor.

Now affirmations by themselves will not make things happen but they will guide you to your goals. Once you start believing that the vision is possible, it is time to put together an action plan to reach that vision. If any of the actions are stressful, you can perform visualization exercises where you see yourself doing those actions with ease and then go on to simulations and then to performing the actual action.

Let’s take an example and see how we can put this into practice.

A teenager has just gotten her driving learner’s permit. As any driver knows, the amount of information that we need to process when we started driving can be overwhelming: adjusting the seat and all the mirrors, putting on the seat belt, switching on the lights, starting the car, disengaging the parking brakes, signalling, watching oncoming traffic and driving etc. As an experienced driver, we do many of these things seamlessly but to a beginner it can be a very stressful experience. To address this, we could

1. See our self doing all the activities of driving effortlessly. This would include changing lanes or turning, following traffic signals, stopping, parking etc.

2. We can use a video recording of an experienced driver doing all the activities

3. We could have a audio recording guide us e.g. “I am coming up to a traffic signal. I need to be more alert and get ready to slow down or stop”

4. Visualize yourself in the various activities in a wide variety of scenarios e.g. bright sun, winding roads, rain, snow, steep roads, city traffic etc. Also add negative scenarios like getting into an accident with another vehicle, driving off the road, traffic jams, feeling sleepy, and distractions like the radio or other passengers talking in the car, getting pulled over by the police etc. See yourself handling all of these calmly. If you panic, keep repeating the exercise till you are calm and comfortable.

5. Once comfortable, you can take it further by using a driving simulator where you can practice doing something without getting hurt e.g. making a left turn into a multi-lane road

6. Only when you feel comfortable with the visualizations and the simulations should you consider driving a car in the real world

7. Also start slow and practice all the activities in a real car in a safe environment e.g. practice parallel parking in an unused parking lot

8. Then move onto a light traffic parking lot or street and so on

The key here is to plan, prepare, visualize, practice and only then execute. This applies to pretty much every thing in life. The biggest caveat of this technique is that it could take longer but the results are usually worth the wait.