Affirmations

We humans processes an amazing ability to convince our self of something weather it is true or not. Many times we build our beliefs on what others say around us or through the media (books, TV, Radio etc). We also give more weight to information from people we trust and believe in. Repeat this enough times and we begin to believe firmly that what we have heard is true and will even stand up to anyone who questions. We go on to pass this information to others.

I see affirmations as a form of self-hypnosis where we convince our self of something that may or may not be true. But it does play an important part in how we improve our self so let’s see how we can use this to our advantage.

1. Start by creating a vision  and make it as vivid as possible no matter how impossible it may seem now.

2. Describe and draw your vision on paper. Revise the vision to emphasize on the positive aspects.

3. Now create a video recording of you speaking your text in a calm assertive voice with soft soothing music in the background. Combine it with video recording of something as close as possible to your dream. You could also write on paper or create an audio recording. I choose video because it can be used to simulate multiple senses.

4. Now every day select a quiet comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Wear comfortable clothes, darken the lights or burn a couple of scented candles. Do some relaxation exercises. One simple exercise I use is to lay back in a comfortable chair close my eyes and visualize all the stress and worries melting away from my body.

5. Now start the video and visualize living that dream. Do this enough times that you feel good within yourself.

One way to take this further is to share your vision with your family, friends (and perhaps others who might have a similar vision). Ask them for ideas and their positive views.

Every time you feel low or feel an urge to go back to old habits or addictions, bring up the image of your dream. It even helps to put the affirmations where you will see or hear it constantly e.g. a note attached to the fridge or the computer monitor.

Now affirmations by themselves will not make things happen but they will guide you to your goals. Once you start believing that the vision is possible, it is time to put together an action plan to reach that vision. If any of the actions are stressful, you can perform visualization exercises where you see yourself doing those actions with ease and then go on to simulations and then to performing the actual action.

Let’s take an example and see how we can put this into practice.

A teenager has just gotten her driving learner’s permit. As any driver knows, the amount of information that we need to process when we started driving can be overwhelming: adjusting the seat and all the mirrors, putting on the seat belt, switching on the lights, starting the car, disengaging the parking brakes, signalling, watching oncoming traffic and driving etc. As an experienced driver, we do many of these things seamlessly but to a beginner it can be a very stressful experience. To address this, we could

1. See our self doing all the activities of driving effortlessly. This would include changing lanes or turning, following traffic signals, stopping, parking etc.

2. We can use a video recording of an experienced driver doing all the activities

3. We could have a audio recording guide us e.g. “I am coming up to a traffic signal. I need to be more alert and get ready to slow down or stop”

4. Visualize yourself in the various activities in a wide variety of scenarios e.g. bright sun, winding roads, rain, snow, steep roads, city traffic etc. Also add negative scenarios like getting into an accident with another vehicle, driving off the road, traffic jams, feeling sleepy, and distractions like the radio or other passengers talking in the car, getting pulled over by the police etc. See yourself handling all of these calmly. If you panic, keep repeating the exercise till you are calm and comfortable.

5. Once comfortable, you can take it further by using a driving simulator where you can practice doing something without getting hurt e.g. making a left turn into a multi-lane road

6. Only when you feel comfortable with the visualizations and the simulations should you consider driving a car in the real world

7. Also start slow and practice all the activities in a real car in a safe environment e.g. practice parallel parking in an unused parking lot

8. Then move onto a light traffic parking lot or street and so on

The key here is to plan, prepare, visualize, practice and only then execute. This applies to pretty much every thing in life. The biggest caveat of this technique is that it could take longer but the results are usually worth the wait.

Frugal Living

My definition of frugal living is “A simple lifestyle of living comfortably within our means”. Here are some examples:

1. Right-size everything tangible. e.g. living in a rental 2 bedroom apartment instead of 3 or 4 bedroom single family house. Most people look at houses as an asset or an investment but in reality they are a liability. They need constant maintenance, property taxes, insurance, mortgage, higher energy bills etc and they can take a long time to sell restricting you to a limited work area. Now some will argue that their house price has doubled in the last 10 years but how much did you spend on the house and how much would you really make after real estate commissions, sales taxes, closing costs and income tax (if you made a gain). Others argue that they never plan on moving but statistics shows that on average people stay in their houses for only 6 years.

2. Buying only the essential items rather than everything we want. An example is buying a smaller TV and using broadcast channels instead of a large flat-panel with home theater system and cable/dish service. Add to that a DVD player, buying/renting DVDs, PPV, extended warranty, repair costs, requires more space (maybe even a dedicated media room), electricity and most of all the time wasted in front of the TV instead of spending it on more important things. I do not say that you should not buy anything but always plan ahead on the actual costs instead of buying on impulse. A simple strategy is to create a budget e.g. buy a small TV for $300 in one year and you plan to save $25 each month. You might end up finding a better TV and you might even decide to skip buying that TV all together.

3. Saving at least 25% to 50% of the net income (ie. after uncle Sam has taken his cut) each month. If you can save $750 (25% of your $3000 monthly income) each month then in 2 years you would have saved $18,000. Now if your monthly expenses are $2,000 then even if you lose a job you can afford to live the same lifestyle for 9 months. Of course, you can add in unemployment insurance, cutting back expenses, having a less paying job etc. You can see how it can help you make better career decisions and not have to worry about getting laid off from work.

4. Eliminate your debt. This is not as hard as it seems as most lenders are willing to negotiate a loan (especially a non-secured loan like a credit card). You can also consolidate multiple loans into one or two low interest loans. Sometimes family members can help by cosigning, getting an advance at work or even file for bankruptcy. One thing to be careful here is that you do not convert a non-secured loan into a secured loan (e.g. refinancing the house to pay the credit cards) unless that is your only option. Bottom-line is it is good to have a credit line but use it wisely and keep it reserved for the rainy day.

5. De-clutter your life. Identify all the items that you have in your possession and ask if you really need any of them. One simple rule is to get rid (sell, donate or trash) of anything you haven’t used in a year, or is broken, no longer interested in etc. Then look at items that have gotchas attached to them e.g. having a dog means walking, feeding, bathing, taking to vet, licensing, medicating, insurance, cutting nails, possibly dealing with aggression/biting, making arrangements when traveling or away from home for longer than 8 hours etc. Multiply that by the 10 to 15 years the dog will live. I am not condoning getting rid of your pet but think twice before getting one and if it is really the right choice for your lifestyle.

6. Share/borrow instead of buying. Buy used instead of new. This will not only save you money, it will reduce amount of space needed, be less taxing on the environment and you will get to form tighter bonds with your family and friends. After all necessity/dependency is one of the key factors in keeping relationships going.

The lesson is “The more you simplify your life, the less worries you will have and the more peaceful and content your life will be”.

Time

What is time? Is it a constant or does it vary? For someone suffering, time seems to pass slowly but to someone busy, time flies. Time stretches and expands differently for everyone and that movement can be almost chaotic in nature but the clock continues to tick at the same rate.

We all have a finite amount of time that we like to call our life. The choices we make affect the outcome of how we perceive time. Not considering the chance of an accident, our current lifespan may be 70 years roughly divided into the following categories.

sleep 1/3 of the time
work or study 1/3 of the time (slightly higher if commuting but lower if you exclude weekends)
Basic chores like brushing, toilet, bathing, eating (and perhaps cooking) take up 1/6 of the time
If you married and/or parent, then you also need to attend to your spouse and children
As a child or youth, we do not perceive death. As a young man we are looking to start a family, as a middle aged man we look after our children, when old we tend to our health.

What we are left with is way less than 1/10 of our time to do as we choose. Realize that your time is finite and precious and choose wisely what you do with the little time you have.

Survival of the fittest

I am a big fan of survival type series like Man Vs Wild, SurvivorMan, I shouldn’t be alive and many more where the content is geared more for education rather than entertainment like the survivor TV show. Outside of luck, in most cases the key to survival is a strong will to prevail against all odds. Add to that some basic knowledge of survival strategies and your odds increase exponentially. Now I will not go into all the details of survival strategies out there but some of the key ones to remember are

1. Do not panic. I realize this is easier said than done but a panicky mind cannot think clearly and is prone to making mistakes which you cannot afford.

2. If you need medical attention tend to it first.

3. Come up with a realistic plan based on your scenario. Rescue may take longer than you anticipate so plan for that. This is also the time to think of what is important to you in life and which will help keep up your spirits.

4. Find or build a shelter from the elements. This could be for shade, rain cover, wind blocker, warmth, protection etc.

5. Find drinking water or figure out a way to capture moisture. Dehydration can be a killer.

6. Build a fire. This will help boil the water, cook meat and keep wild animals away, signal, provide warmth, and comfort on a dark night. Learn at least a couple of ways to start a fire.

7. Find food. A person can last for several days without food but eating food even in small quantities is essential. This could be from insects, small animals, plants, fruits, fish etc. but you cannot be picky of the taste and have to know what is edible.

Perception and Judgement of others

We are what we believe and our thoughts are molded by our experiences. Basically what we see in most cases is perception rather than the underlying truth. We as a crowd are also easily swayed by the latest trend and sometimes in unpredictable ways.

When we see someone for the first time, do we really know that person? For that matter, do we really know the individual after spending 20+ years with them. When we interview a person for a job, do we focus strictly on the capabilities or do we make our impression about them based on their looks, they way they talk and/or interact with others. I admit that some of these are important but each person has a different perception so how fair are we when we make a decision?

Same goes for when a jury is supposed to look at some evidence and make a decision sometimes about the fate of the individual under trail. How much of evidence is enough? How much role does the intelligence, looks, style, charm and cunning of the lawyers play in the decision? What about all those cases that are being proved wrong by new evidence or using DNA? How would your life be affected with the new evidence if you were a juror in a case where an innocent person was convicted or even executed?

Some decisions seem easy but if the butterfly effect is true then which decision is more important? Is the greater good of all more important than the basic needs of a few? Where do we draw the line?

I want you to question your beliefs many of which have been imprinted in us from an early age. How much of that is true and how much is just plain superstition? I want you to listen to another person before making any judgements about them. Who are we anyway to really judge others?

Sherlock Holmes – a fine tribute to logical deduction

I have always been a big fan of detective work where logic and deduction plays a large part in solving the case.

My favorite is the fictitious character Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The best parts are when looking at simple objects like a hat, coat, pipe etc he is able to amazingly deduce quite a bit of information about the person(s) it belongs to. Also to him the satisfaction derived from solving the case is more important than any monetary gains.

The next favorite I have is another fictitious character Monk on USA Networks. Some of the cases he solves are just mind boggling. One of my favorite is the chess grandmaster who seems to always be one step in front of everyone including Monk.

Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, Columbo, Matlock .. the list goes on but they all have the same things. Usually the clues are right in front of us and it is a matter of thinking out of the box and logical deduction that gets you to solve the case. What it also makes you wonder is the brilliance of the human minds out there.

Taboo on National Geographic Channel

I recently watched a few reruns of the show Taboo on National Geographic Channel. It is pretty graphic and not for the faint of heart as it presents extreme cases from several cultures around the globe. Such a show would probably not have aired just a few decades back.

What I like about the show is that it brings out the skeptic in me .. it challenges my values and beliefs .. it makes me question things I take for granted. As babies and children we are born a blank slate and many of the things we know or do are imprinted on us by the environment and people we know.

I believe it is important to constantly question things even those we take for granted. Just like we have to make sure the foundation of a bridge over a river continues to be robust, we need to check our foundation occasionally to make sure that it is not flawed.

Needs, Wants & Will power

A need is something that is required or essential but a want is something desirable disguised as a need. Can you differentiate between your needs and wants? How much of you spending is on impulse or from a desire created by the media or possession of an item by a friend or colleague? Countless people fall prey to spending and living beyond their means and eventually all it takes is one strike to wipe them out. When it comes down to basics, we humans actually have very few needs: Shelter (house, clothing), Food. Socializing and the desire to reproduce come in a close second.

Marketing by definition is presenting a want as a need. Manufacturers rely on advertisements to consistently sell us products. Do you create a long-term budget (e.g. 5 years), a mid-term budget (1-year) and a short-term budget(1 month), write down your needs and wants. How much of your paycheck do you dedicate to your need, your family’s need, savings before you decide to fulfil a want. Getting a credit card is relatively easy, swiping it for goods is much more easier but paying back the large bill is a whole new game. I am not sure how credit cards are different from loan sharks? Many charge 20% plus a year and will lend you money way beyond your means in the hopes that once you are trapped, you will have no escape. Filing for bankruptcy is not always the answer here.

There are many articles out there that talk about getting out of debt, but very few that talk about living a debt free life. Credit-counseling and debt-consolidation are a multi-billion dollar industries. Even the 30 year home mortgage is setup to take advantage of an average home owner moving every 6 years. Every 6 years or so, a person buys a new home (usually larger and more expensive), finances with a 30 year loan, rarely puts 20% plus as down-payment and spends the next 6 or so years paying interest on the loan without really reducing the principal. There are pundits who advocate the tax benefit of paying interest which is BS I will leave for another time.

Here are some more examples:

1. Should I buy a house now? Depending on your situation you might actually be better off paying rent for a 2 bedroom apartment. Don’t buy a house because your friend just bought one.

2. Should I buy a new or an used car or lease? Should I buy a Lexus or is the Corrola good enough for me? Am I buying this car because it is something I have always wanted or is it because you want to show off to your family and friends. It is said that a vehicle loses 20% of it’s value, the moment a buyer drives it out of the dealers lot. Do you really want to pay the dealer 20% for the new car or can you buy an used car in a good condition 1 year old for 30% off. What is your budget and how much and how long will it take you to pay off the loan (remember a car loan is paid from after-tax income).

3. Repair the old computer or buy that new computer you saw at the store? Many times, repairing an item is better than purchasing a new one. What about that high-definition digital camera that your friend just bought? Do you need it or want it? And then can you afford it?

4. What is your buffer? Can you afford the same lifestyle after losing your current job? How long can you survive before you get the next job? What if the economy is in a recession and finding a job takes over 6 months? What about a long-term disability?

5. Gifts. Should you buy expensive gifts for everyone because you are scarred of what they might think? Or a nice card and/or phone conversation is sufficient? Will these same people be there in your time of need?

6. Should you buy that snow-blower or clear the the snow yourself or hire someone to clear the snow? A typical snow-blower costs $600 + annual maintenance costs. If help is hard to get or it snows often in your area then buying a blower might be justified. If you are in good health, a solution may be to barter with a neighbour. Promise to mow his lawn once a month in return for him clearing the snow in your driveway and sidewalk using his snow blower.

The rules of living debt-free are pretty simple: 

1. Always have a budget. It provides you a clear map of your income and expenses.

2. Avoid debt when possible. Its a leverage that could be good but over-leverage can also kill your finances. Know how much debt is tolerable for you.

3. If already in debt, make paying it back one of the more important needs. Do not take on new debt unless this one is reduced to a tolerable level.

4. Maintain a lifestyle that will sustain you even when you lose your job or have a reduced income for a year.

Feed the needs first, save for the long-term and only then look at feeding a want. One way to live is to have a clear understanding of ones needs and what is required to sustain those needs over a long period of time.

eco-friendly housing

I have always had a dream of building my own house that is efficient & eco-friendly but still enjoying the amenities of modern living. I have been reading about some of the techniques that can be deployed for new developments without substantially increasing the initial cost.

 1. Location of the house – In real-estate it’s always “Location,Location & Location” and when designing a eco-friendly house, location is key. A good location will provide for maximum use of abundant locally available materials e.g. full sun, wind, rain, well etc.

2. Benefiting from the Sun – In colder climates, it is best to layout the house to maximize the exposure from the sun. Also using windows with light reflecting off heat-radiating materials, proper insulation to retain the heat, heating water and even generating electricity are some potential ways to exploit the abundant power of the sun. From a cost point of view though, generating electricity even with rebates from federal and state governments, is far more expensive.

3. Benefiting from the Wind – Using Windmills to generate electricity, designing the house to allow wind flowing for cooling and ventilating the house during summer and even power pumps to move water to the water mini-towers. But most people like trees around their houses which screen out the wind, windmills look ugly and birds get killed so using the wind for cooling and ventilating the house is a cheap option with proper home design.

4. Benefiting from the Rain – Locations with healthy rainfall can collect the water and use it for watering plants, laundary and toilets. Filtering the water before use would also allow it to be used for bathing. The problem is open standing water goes bad quickly so use of a small tank to store the water is a good idea. Mounting the tank on the roof would allow for some water pressure. Having a covered well also is beneficial and reduces dependencies on the local water supply but well water comes with lots of risks and water needs to be treated and filtered before use.

5. Heat Pumps – Use of these devices allow for efficient heating & cooling of houses where temperature extremes exist. These units are more expensive though.

6. Storage spaces – Storage space is always at a premium and sooner or later, you will hit this issue. Storage areas need to be created by using hidden spaces, corners and maximizing the amount of easily accessible areas in the house by reducing stairs, hallways etc.

Several more ideas exist but in the end it is proper designing of the house that makes most of the difference. Spend the time and money to look for a good designer first!